








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 134 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,354 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2627 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4993 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4185 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6549 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,793,069 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | they see me spinning | 62% | 79 |
| #2 | clockmerk | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | mrgeppetto | 58% | 242 |
| #4 | j4son | 56% | 43 |
| #5 | jonny ☂ | 55% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jonny ☂ | 958 | 0.35 | 27 min |
| #2 | mrgeppetto | 698 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | they see me spinning | 419 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #4 | Satsujin | 293 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | Volund | 270 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clockmerk | +5.64 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | mrgeppetto | +3.00 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | JakeAK | +2.82 | 83 | 62 |
| #4 | they see me spinning | +2.81 | 70 | 49 |
| #5 | j4son | +1.86 | 77 | 62 |





