








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 494 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2830 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5286 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3892 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4903 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,852,118 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 302 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | platu | 57% | 236 |
| #2 | CrUnKz™ | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | Bozbok* | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Abs0luTioN | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | Tragedy | 49% | 268 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | sAinT ... | ... | 47% | 93 |
| #8 | RaBB1T | 47% | 79 |
| #9 | Smacksie | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 43% | 129 |
| #11 | Captain Wice | 35% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | platu | 16 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Tragedy | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | JAN-T@P | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Captain Wice | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tragedy | 636 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | sAinT ... | ... | 224 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 191 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Abs0luTioN | 175 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | RaBB1T | 149 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | platu | +1.84 | 64 | 39 |
| #2 | JAN-T@P | +1.01 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | Smacksie | +0.94 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | Bozbok* | +0.75 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | CrUnKz™ | +0.62 | 79 | 45 |





