








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 548 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5022 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6444 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 4641 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3279 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,272 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 289 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smacksie | 62% | 52 |
| #2 | platu | 57% | 165 |
| #3 | †ℙ𝕒𝕟𝟙𝕔 | 56% | 41 |
| #4 | Captain Wice | 53% | 62 |
| #5 | ZEAL | 52% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | CrUnKz™ | 51% | 142 |
| #9 | sAinT ... | ... | 51% | 233 |
| #10 | ☢ S.T.A.L.K.E.R ☢ | 45% | 75 |
| #11 | prof Blue | 43% | 129 |
| #12 | DoctorPoctor5_ZA | 36% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sAinT ... | ... | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Tragedy | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | platu | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Smacksie | 9 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Captain Wice | 6 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tragedy | 788 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | sAinT ... | ... | 514 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | RaBB1T | 414 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | CrUnKz™ | 297 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | prof Blue | 211 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smacksie | +2.12 | 64 | 47 |
| #2 | DoctorPoctor5_ZA | +1.75 | 64 | 42 |
| #3 | platu | +1.63 | 66 | 41 |
| #4 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | +0.93 | 42 | 56 |
| #5 | CrUnKz™ | -0.31 | 79 | 49 |





