








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 691 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6083 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6562 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4837 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3607 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4493 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,954,626 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1887 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tragedy | 58% | 320 |
| #2 | CrUnKz™ | 54% | 146 |
| #3 | SymmaTree | 54% | 87 |
| #4 | EnderZ | 53% | 64 |
| #5 | platu | 52% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | DoctorPoctor5_ZA | 52% | 50 |
| #7 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 52% | 170 |
| #8 | sAinT ... | ... | 51% | 294 |
| #9 | prof Blue | 47% | 79 |
| #10 | ☢ S.T.A.L.K.E.R ☢ | 44% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sAinT ... | ... | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Tragedy | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | prof Blue | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | CrUnKz™ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tragedy | 861 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | sAinT ... | ... | 740 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #3 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | 332 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | CrUnKz™ | 243 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | EnderZ | 185 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DoctorPoctor5_ZA | +2.93 | 69 | 38 |
| #2 | platu | +1.20 | 64 | 40 |
| #3 | EK IS N BOK!!!! | +0.93 | 41 | 58 |
| #4 | EnderZ | +0.54 | 54 | 62 |
| #5 | ☢ S.T.A.L.K.E.R ☢ | +0.34 | 65 | 66 |





