








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 113 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1386 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,399 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 985 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1228 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1349 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 837 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $769,855 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Capybara | 52% | 58 |
| #6 | CDJ | 51% | 69 |
| #7 | Lt. DanielSon | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | 127mjb | 44% | 39 |
| #9 | cimok | 39% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cimok | 13 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | 127mjb | 10 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | CDJ | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | hitsy | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Capybara | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CDJ | 344 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | cimok | 202 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Capybara | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Schmodda on YT | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | 127mjb | 53 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 127mjb | +3.23 | 78 | 46 |
| #2 | Randyman <3 | +2.51 | 71 | 47 |
| #3 | hitsy | +1.76 | 82 | 34 |
| #4 | Schmodda on YT | +1.58 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | Lt. DanielSon | +1.30 | 48 | 78 |





