








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1093 | 29% |
| Smokes | 747 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1076 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 892 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,373 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | HS | 56% | 9 |
| #7 | EEDJIOT | 54% | 69 |
| #8 | darymi | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | -Pap1t0o- | 42% | 45 |
| #10 | p3Ky | 35% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p3Ky | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | SeveN* | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | darymi | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | -Pap1t0o- | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Aho1ky | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EEDJIOT | 230 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | SeveN* | 184 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | -Pap1t0o- | 170 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | darymi | 80 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | p3Ky | 61 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sømrát | +2.51 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | EEDJIOT | +1.65 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | Aho1ky | +1.19 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | -Pap1t0o- | +0.82 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | HS | +0.36 | 58 | 58 |





