








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1089 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 275 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,162 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4873 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4124 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3941 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4224 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,422,866 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | p3Ky | 50% | 103 |
| #9 | HS | 50% | 48 |
| #10 | SSyy | 48% | 62 |
| #11 | -Pap1t0o- | 48% | 221 |
| #12 | :33 | 47% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Pap1t0o- | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | °K | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | d0mess | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | SSyy | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | darymi | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Pap1t0o- | 836 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #2 | darymi | 564 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | d0mess | 529 | 0.36 | 16 min |
| #4 | SeveN* | 434 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | p3Ky | 334 | 0.15 | 9 min |





