








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,013 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3715 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4531 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4813 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4954 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,078,421 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | °K | 49% | 59 |
| #11 | p3Ky | 48% | 61 |
| #12 | Aho1ky | 46% | 50 |
| #13 | knedla | 45% | 22 |
| #14 | d0mess | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | darymi | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ArCat | 7 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | -Pap1t0o- | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | p3Ky | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | EEDJIOT | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Pap1t0o- | 922 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | darymi | 433 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | EEDJIOT | 382 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | p3Ky | 197 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | d0mess | 177 | 0.40 | 5 min |





