








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 319 matches | ||
| Premier | 222 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3611 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6136 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4226 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4221 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,069,556 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globalito | 65% | 86 |
| #2 | Brax. | 60% | 153 |
| #3 | K@uskÖusss | -tusor+tfor | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | AxL L#0 | 59% | 83 |
| #5 | _soO | 58% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | volt | 49% | 85 |
| #8 | Aki | 49% | 153 |
| #9 | Nox | 48% | 31 |
| #10 | jojolooping | 45% | 101 |
| #11 | light | 43% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brax. | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Aki | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Globalito | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Nox | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | volt | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brax. | 812 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | Aki | 664 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #3 | jojolooping | 382 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | volt | 355 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #5 | _soO | 327 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxL L#0 | +4.01 | 77 | 71 |
| #2 | _soO | +1.26 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | Globalito | +1.25 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Don Jassdecheat | +0.67 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | Brax. | +0.43 | 87 | 82 |





