








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 458 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,291 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3237 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2940 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3012 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3102 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,868 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 109 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brax. | 63% | 169 |
| #2 | Globalito | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Elium945 | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Don Jassdecheat | 59% | 83 |
| #5 | A1MREUS_ | 58% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Don Jassdecheat | 59% | 83 |
| #5 | A1MREUS_ | 58% | 144 |
| #6 | jojolooping | 51% | 43 |
| #7 | Aki | 49% | 93 |
| #8 | nezkotv🌍🌍狂人狂人 | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brax. | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | A1MREUS_ | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Aki | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Don Jassdecheat | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Globalito | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brax. | 769 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | Aki | 330 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | Don Jassdecheat | 240 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | A1MREUS_ | 232 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | jojolooping | 140 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxL L#0 | +3.42 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | Brax. | +0.45 | 88 | 77 |
| #3 | Globalito | +0.38 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | Aki | -0.14 | 61 | 66 |
| #5 | A1MREUS_ | -0.42 | 75 | 54 |





