








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 975 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 151 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,039 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9513 | 34% |
| Smokes | 8108 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4635 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5783 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,415,734 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elium945 | 65% | 79 |
| #2 | AxL L#0 | 63% | 169 |
| #3 | Madderose | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | Don Jassdecheat | 60% | 153 |
| #5 | A1MREUS_ | 60% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | _soO | 53% | 59 |
| #12 | Kent Took | 52% | 44 |
| #13 | jojolooping | 51% | 82 |
| #14 | Aki | 50% | 107 |
| #15 | volt | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxL L#0 | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Oui | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Aki | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | A1MREUS_ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Don Jassdecheat | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxL L#0 | 556 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | Don Jassdecheat | 444 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Aki | 344 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | jojolooping | 260 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Oui | 227 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxL L#0 | +3.43 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | Oui | +3.40 | 92 | 60 |
| #3 | Kent Took | +3.28 | 85 | 73 |
| #4 | r3dVirus | +2.34 | 85 | 50 |
| #5 | _soO | +1.51 | 81 | 61 |





