








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1883 | 46% |
| Smokes | 903 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 400 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 929 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $491,740 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omiya | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | 'uge | 51% | 93 |
| #3 | KT | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | Morgan Freeman On Road | 29% | 17 |
| #5 | Digbert | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 'uge | 51% | 93 |
| #3 | KT | 36% | 14 |
| #4 | Morgan Freeman On Road | 29% | 17 |
| #5 | Digbert | 20% | 15 |
| #6 | Ali Renegade | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omiya | 23 | 0.0217 |
| #2 | KT | 16 | 0.0699 |
| #3 | 'uge | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Morgan Freeman On Road | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omiya | 312 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #2 | 'uge | 33 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | KT | 27 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Morgan Freeman On Road | 25 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Digbert | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KT | +3.16 | 96 | 51 |
| #2 | ♱♱Matt Tuck <3♱♱ | +1.75 | 75 | 43 |
| #3 | Omiya | +1.64 | 59 | 67 |
| #4 | 'uge | +1.35 | 74 | 28 |
| #5 | Digbert | -1.59 | 41 | 23 |





