








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 366 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2972 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5744 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3423 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4584 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,696,945 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vibe Check | 74% | 43 |
| #2 | Keklient | 61% | 118 |
| #3 | SNK | 59% | 37 |
| #4 | Братце | 57% | 54 |
| #5 | blakanar | Pfandgott | 57% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | blakanar | Pfandgott | 57% | 260 |
| #6 | Sascha | 56% | 79 |
| #7 | 1'cup | 53% | 30 |
| #8 | Der Lieferjunge | 49% | 59 |
| #9 | NeverRain | 45% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blakanar | Pfandgott | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Keklient | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Der Lieferjunge | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Vibe Check | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Братце | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blakanar | Pfandgott | 711 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | Keklient | 395 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | SNK | 189 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | Братце | 180 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vibe Check | 107 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Братце | +2.60 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | Keklient | +2.31 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Vibe Check | +1.77 | 84 | 64 |
| #4 | SNK | +1.60 | 69 | 79 |
| #5 | blakanar | Pfandgott | +1.14 | 73 | 59 |





