








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3754 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4203 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2510 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2295 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $632,864 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stemu | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | irppa | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | n0rppa | 67% | 46 |
| #4 | Timbalandz | 67% | 30 |
| #5 | Johnny F. Raider | 64% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Jokke | 52% | 61 |
| #15 | Iikkaaaa | 51% | 47 |
| #16 | HeimoBoy | 49% | 41 |
| #17 | djin | 48% | 29 |
| #18 | Mathe | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iikkaaaa | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Blade of Saeldor | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | lystimpi | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Natzku☂ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Рэй <> | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakkanen | 393 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Khasq | 274 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | ePä ReHtI☂ ePäBaNjO☂ | 245 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Natzku☂ | 222 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | PSOTY | 218 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Natzku☂ | +2.95 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | Johnny F. Raider | +2.67 | 73 | 76 |
| #3 | Kakkanen | +2.45 | 83 | 80 |
| #4 | PSOTY | +2.37 | 82 | 70 |
| #5 | Рэй <> | +1.97 | 74 | 68 |





