








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 848 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 254 matches | ||
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5286 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3470 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 6433 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4130 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,517 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 659 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glastone | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | PSOTY | 64% | 120 |
| #3 | Iikkaaaa | 64% | 78 |
| #4 | Timbalandz | 61% | 51 |
| #5 | djin | 60% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blade of Saeldor | 18 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Kakkanen | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | djin | 12 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | ( | 12 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | Timbalandz | 7 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakkanen | 853 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | Blade of Saeldor | 466 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | ePä ReHtI☂ ePäBaNjO☂ | 412 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | PSOTY | 396 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | Khasq | 307 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny F. Raider | +2.76 | 72 | 79 |
| #2 | Natzku☂ | +2.48 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Рэй <> | +2.41 | 81 | 65 |
| #4 | PSOTY | +2.36 | 85 | 71 |
| #5 | Kakkanen | +2.19 | 81 | 76 |





