








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 644 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4416 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,435 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3946 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3206 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3240 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,407,005 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'no.0dles | 62% | 39 |
| #2 | Voras | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | LdW | 54% | 191 |
| #4 | Mig0n | 50% | 236 |
| #5 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 50% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Nattermann | 44% | 96 |
| #10 | Danny | 43% | 37 |
| #11 | _JsN_ | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | Mega Pint | 43% | 42 |
| #13 | show me bubs | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boss Baby | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | LdW | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | 'no.0dles | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Mig0n | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mig0n | 882 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | Boss Baby | 692 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | LdW | 241 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 218 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nattermann | 188 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | +2.10 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | Mig0n | +1.97 | 96 | 64 |
| #3 | Voras | +1.25 | 90 | 68 |
| #4 | LdW | +0.19 | 85 | 68 |
| #5 | 'no.0dles | +0.19 | 73 | 73 |





