








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1032 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,150 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5378 | 12% |
| Smokes | 10867 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 17066 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 11839 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,905,439 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2025 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord | 54% | 116 |
| #2 | JoKeR | 50% | 207 |
| #3 | ✪ Orion | 50% | 363 |
| #4 | TorinG | 48% | 171 |
| #5 | Mega Burger | 48% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mega Pint | 62 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Wiz | 20 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | el sassquatch | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | ✪ Orion | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ShimmyJimmy46 | 8 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M4nod3an | +2.67 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Wiz | +1.48 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | el sassquatch | +1.38 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | Lord | +1.06 | 43 | 45 |
| #5 | ✪ Orion | +0.71 | 58 | 61 |





