








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 301 matches | ||
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,536 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10606 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4691 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 6571 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5668 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,139,872 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 817 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | دَيميًن | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | _JsN_ | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | 'no.0dles | 56% | 97 |
| #4 | Lynx | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | Voras | 53% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Nattermann | 46% | 192 |
| #12 | Danny | 43% | 128 |
| #13 | show me bubs | 41% | 201 |
| #14 | Nille | 39% | 44 |
| #15 | w1tcher | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LdW | 13 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Boss Baby | 11 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Lynx | 8 | 0.0093 |
| #5 | 'no.0dles | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boss Baby | 1378 | 0.15 | 38 min |
| #2 | LdW | 792 | 0.06 | 17 min |
| #3 | M4nod3an | 763 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #4 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | 412 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #5 | Nattermann | 399 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lynx | +3.16 | 86 | 47 |
| #2 | Mig0n | +2.16 | 95 | 64 |
| #3 | ㊙ Al ii ve EU 🍥 | +1.46 | 89 | 61 |
| #4 | w1tcher | +1.22 | 90 | 63 |
| #5 | Voras | +0.55 | 90 | 62 |





