








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2893 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1536 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1975 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1385 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,284,011 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 213 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADIDOS | 63% | 67 |
| #2 | Notschi | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | XMinem | 51% | 141 |
| #4 | bikebotdogboi | 51% | 116 |
| #5 | BlackLeaf | 51% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bikebotdogboi | 51% | 116 |
| #5 | BlackLeaf | 51% | 87 |
| #6 | Juanitdo | 50% | 137 |
| #7 | freddy_ich | 49% | 85 |
| #8 | enz | 47% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bikebotdogboi | 28 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | BlackLeaf | 12 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | enz | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | XMinem | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Juanitdo | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bikebotdogboi | 375 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #2 | XMinem | 336 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Juanitdo | 280 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | enz | 212 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | freddy_ich | 183 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bikebotdogboi | +4.12 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | enz | +2.54 | 80 | 60 |
| #3 | Notschi | +1.72 | 92 | 60 |
| #4 | XMinem | +1.53 | 65 | 51 |
| #5 | ADIDOS | +0.47 | 64 | 53 |





