








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 649 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 496 matches | ||
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7852 | 27% |
| Smokes | 7320 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7126 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6653 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,506,229 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 473 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w1tcheR | 51% | 219 |
| #2 | nisto'ใในใ | 50% | 294 |
| #3 | Notschi | 50% | 414 |
| #4 | bikebotdogboi | 48% | 531 |
| #5 | TaZeST | 47% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TaZeST | 47% | 77 |
| #6 | lebasteur | 47% | 86 |
| #7 | XMinem | 46% | 209 |
| #8 | Juanitdo | 43% | 68 |
| #9 | freddy_ich | 40% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bikebotdogboi | 45 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | nisto'ใในใ | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Notschi | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | lebasteur | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | XMinem | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notschi | 2243 | 0.25 | 45 min |
| #2 | bikebotdogboi | 1689 | 0.15 | 36 min |
| #3 | w1tcheR | 1093 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #4 | nisto'ใในใ | 778 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #5 | XMinem | 542 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w1tcheR | +2.07 | 91 | 59 |
| #2 | bikebotdogboi | +1.33 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | enz | +0.69 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | Notschi | +0.45 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | XMinem | -0.30 | 61 | 51 |





