








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1134 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




109 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 55,762 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15276 | 27% |
| Smokes | 15138 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 11137 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 14211 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,972,932 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADIDOS | 65% | 83 |
| #2 | lebasteur | 51% | 116 |
| #3 | w1tcheR | 50% | 494 |
| #4 | nisto'ใในใ | 49% | 709 |
| #5 | XMinem | 48% | 430 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | enz | 48% | 531 |
| #7 | Notschi | 47% | 886 |
| #8 | Juanitdo | 46% | 155 |
| #9 | TaZeST | 44% | 214 |
| #10 | freddy_ich | 44% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notschi | 40 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | nisto'ใในใ | 29 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | enz | 19 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | XMinem | 18 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | w1tcheR | 12 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Notschi | 4534 | 0.24 | 97 min |
| #2 | w1tcheR | 2390 | 0.22 | 59 min |
| #3 | nisto'ใในใ | 1850 | 0.12 | 44 min |
| #4 | enz | 1362 | 0.12 | 33 min |
| #5 | XMinem | 1046 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w1tcheR | +2.30 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | bikebotdogboi | +1.82 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | enz | +0.28 | 77 | 60 |
| #4 | Notschi | +0.24 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | XMinem | -0.35 | 62 | 51 |





