








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 425 matches | ||
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5772 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4764 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3577 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4241 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2042 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,126,010 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 527 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ADIDOS | 64% | 61 |
| #2 | BlackLeaf | 56% | 95 |
| #3 | lebasteur | 51% | 141 |
| #4 | bikebotdogboi | 48% | 430 |
| #5 | Juanitdo | 47% | 179 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | freddy_ich | 47% | 169 |
| #7 | nisto'ใในใ | 47% | 146 |
| #8 | w1tcheR | 47% | 102 |
| #9 | Notschi | 47% | 187 |
| #10 | enz | 46% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bikebotdogboi | 44 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | enz | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | lebasteur | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | nisto'ใในใ | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Juanitdo | 8 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bikebotdogboi | 1384 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | Notschi | 972 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #3 | enz | 535 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | w1tcheR | 534 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #5 | nisto'ใในใ | 455 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w1tcheR | +2.46 | 88 | 60 |
| #2 | bikebotdogboi | +2.22 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | enz | +1.31 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | XMinem | +0.49 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | Notschi | +0.18 | 82 | 62 |





