








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 983 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 281 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




96 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2120 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1786 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3271 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1635 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,433 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | maxb マックス | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | MaliciousPit | 48% | 164 |
| #4 | Jar Jam | 47% | 93 |
| #5 | blujay | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | T_O | 43% | 137 |
| #9 | Doughnuts | 40% | 164 |
| #10 | Scrimatix | 30% | 23 |
| #11 | Major | 28% | 102 |
| #12 | [LoCo] some_kid | 11% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T_O | 82 | 0.0293 |
| #2 | Mickemoose | 74 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Jar Jam | 68 | 0.0356 |
| #4 | Major | 18 | 0.0091 |
| #5 | Doughnuts | 14 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | 549 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | T_O | 180 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Major | 167 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | maxb マックス | 155 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Roth-T | 119 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxb マックス | +5.37 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | Mickemoose | +2.54 | 50 | 67 |
| #3 | Ben | +1.39 | 63 | 39 |
| #4 | pooglezon | +1.33 | 55 | 47 |
| #5 | MaliciousPit | +0.65 | 64 | 37 |





