








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2328 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,002 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 470 | 16% |
| Smokes | 982 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1113 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 437 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,222,583 of utility $375 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ben | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Jar Jam | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | pooglezon | 48% | 164 |
| #4 | Mickemoose | 42% | 202 |
| #5 | Roth-T | 41% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Fre-e- | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | T_O | 40% | 141 |
| #8 | Doughnuts | 34% | 73 |
| #9 | Major | 31% | 45 |
| #10 | blujay | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T_O | 60 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Mickemoose | 44 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | pooglezon | 43 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Jar Jam | 26 | 0.0361 |
| #5 | Roth-T | 10 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | 333 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | pooglezon | 243 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | T_O | 178 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Roth-T | 125 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Major | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fre-e- | +6.26 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Mickemoose | +1.71 | 52 | 66 |
| #3 | pooglezon | +1.00 | 53 | 49 |
| #4 | Ben | +0.77 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | blujay | +0.08 | 50 | 54 |





