








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 549 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1243 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 489 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 663 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $310,897 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 502 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | 33% | 75 |
| #2 | Jar Jam | 31% | 16 |
| #3 | MaliciousPit | 31% | 45 |
| #4 | Doughnuts | 29% | 108 |
| #5 | pooglezon | 28% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Doughnuts | 29% | 108 |
| #5 | pooglezon | 28% | 102 |
| #6 | Roth-T | 26% | 19 |
| #7 | T_O | 4% | 26 |
| #8 | [LoCo] some_kid | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | 28 | 0.0196 |
| #2 | pooglezon | 22 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Jar Jam | 14 | 0.0413 |
| #4 | T_O | 13 | 0.0288 |
| #5 | Doughnuts | 6 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | 156 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | pooglezon | 150 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | T_O | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | MaliciousPit | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Roth-T | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | +4.23 | 51 | 63 |
| #2 | pooglezon | +2.87 | 56 | 46 |
| #3 | Jar Jam | +2.82 | 55 | 52 |
| #4 | MaliciousPit | +1.99 | 64 | 42 |
| #5 | T_O | -2.16 | 32 | 39 |





