








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2109 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1615 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2059 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1772 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 544 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,459,391 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 630 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxb マックス | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | pooglezon | 44% | 97 |
| #3 | MaliciousPit | 41% | 94 |
| #4 | Jar Jam | 41% | 44 |
| #5 | Mickemoose | 37% | 166 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jar Jam | 41% | 44 |
| #5 | Mickemoose | 37% | 166 |
| #6 | T_O | 36% | 168 |
| #7 | Major | 26% | 19 |
| #8 | Doughnuts | 24% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T_O | 62 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | Mickemoose | 37 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Jar Jam | 35 | 0.0379 |
| #4 | pooglezon | 29 | 0.0145 |
| #5 | Major | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | 325 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | T_O | 190 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | pooglezon | 143 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | maxb マックス | 81 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | MaliciousPit | 61 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxb マックス | +4.65 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | Mickemoose | +2.17 | 48 | 66 |
| #3 | pooglezon | +1.09 | 50 | 47 |
| #4 | Jar Jam | +0.13 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | MaliciousPit | -0.32 | 59 | 39 |





