








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




132 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,129 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1216 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2555 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1494 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1864 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,901,029 of utility $278 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pooglezon | 43% | 137 |
| #2 | MaliciousPit | 40% | 141 |
| #3 | Mickemoose | 38% | 180 |
| #4 | Jar Jam | 38% | 48 |
| #5 | Roth-T | 36% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jar Jam | 38% | 48 |
| #5 | Roth-T | 36% | 168 |
| #6 | Doughnuts | 27% | 62 |
| #7 | [LoCo] some_kid | 6% | 17 |
| #8 | Major | 4% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pooglezon | 42 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Mickemoose | 41 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Jar Jam | 41 | 0.0403 |
| #4 | Roth-T | 21 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Doughnuts | 6 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | 312 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | pooglezon | 207 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Roth-T | 171 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | MaliciousPit | 72 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jar Jam | 56 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickemoose | +2.33 | 50 | 69 |
| #2 | pooglezon | +0.91 | 51 | 45 |
| #3 | MaliciousPit | +0.08 | 65 | 36 |
| #4 | Jar Jam | -0.62 | 63 | 47 |
| #5 | T_O | -1.14 | 26 | 48 |





