








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1573 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 791 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 84 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11944 | 30% |
| Smokes | 8485 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 11012 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8295 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,802,559 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2680 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jmuccera | 54% | 258 |
| #2 | 68945716765187 | 52% | 220 |
| #3 | fuzhinkata | 50% | 765 |
| #4 | le snek | 49% | 172 |
| #5 | Shibann Alutist | 49% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | nоface | 48% | 144 |
| #8 | Кирил и Методий | 47% | 106 |
| #9 | Konqtskitarata | 47% | 296 |
| #10 | avaLaAn | 46% | 128 |
| #11 | noface | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuzhinkata | 22 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Leonidas | 15 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Jmuccera | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | avaLaAn | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Shibann Alutist | 9 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuzhinkata | 1723 | 0.11 | 50 min |
| #2 | Konqtskitarata | 1407 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #3 | Leonidas | 862 | 0.08 | 20 min |
| #4 | avaLaAn | 515 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | 68945716765187 | 497 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuzhinkata | +1.88 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | Seltbox | +1.37 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | avaLaAn | +1.21 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | Jmuccera | +0.82 | 71 | 52 |
| #5 | noface | -0.32 | 52 | 71 |





