








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1476 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1842 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1373 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1153 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2344 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $425,306 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jmuccera | 52% | 58 |
| #2 | Seltbox | 49% | 172 |
| #3 | Leonidas | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | fuzhinkata | 49% | 200 |
| #5 | 68945716765187 | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 68945716765187 | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | Кирил и Методий | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | Shibann Alutist | 43% | 21 |
| #8 | Konqtskitarata | 39% | 66 |
| #9 | nоface | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seltbox | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | fuzhinkata | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Leonidas | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Konqtskitarata | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Jmuccera | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seltbox | 520 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | fuzhinkata | 407 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | Konqtskitarata | 281 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Leonidas | 177 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jmuccera | 71 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuzhinkata | +2.62 | 87 | 56 |
| #2 | Seltbox | +1.95 | 79 | 71 |
| #3 | Jmuccera | +1.50 | 73 | 49 |
| #4 | 68945716765187 | -0.86 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | nоface | -1.31 | 75 | 45 |





