








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Faceit | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3524 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4056 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1736 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3700 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,175 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halen | 82% | 110 |
| #2 | cutedog | 79% | 141 |
| #3 | Stx | 74% | 23 |
| #4 | toasty | 74% | 42 |
| #5 | Voilà | 69% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutedog | 16 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Halen | 8 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Voilà | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | kev | 6 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | Stx | 3 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutedog | 504 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Voilà | 302 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Halen | 267 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | freshie | 201 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #5 | toasty | 138 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halen | +3.26 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | Voilà | +3.15 | 86 | 53 |
| #3 | hambooga | +3.09 | 90 | 57 |
| #4 | cutedog | +2.91 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | freshie | +2.17 | 85 | 66 |





