








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3876 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3772 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2438 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3137 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,777 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambooga | 74% | 42 |
| #2 | Zazu | 69% | 29 |
| #3 | avery | 62% | 45 |
| #4 | girlyguy25 | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | TeXaSs^ | 57% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | liam | 52% | 21 |
| #9 | gir-ncmo-♡A | 52% | 21 |
| #10 | beasley | 52% | 50 |
| #11 | Deters | 47% | 38 |
| #12 | gadfly | 45% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kev | 13 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | hambooga | 10 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | avery | 9 | 0.0093 |
| #4 | Zazu | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | alicerawr | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kev | 266 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | beasley | 186 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | liam | 166 | 0.38 | 5 min |
| #4 | gadfly | 159 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Deters | 142 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambooga | +5.47 | 90 | 48 |
| #2 | gir-ncmo-♡A | +3.32 | 95 | 75 |
| #3 | alicerawr | +1.99 | 93 | 48 |
| #4 | beasley | +1.91 | 83 | 64 |
| #5 | Zazu | +1.81 | 70 | 62 |





