








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 976 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5498 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4661 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4874 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5798 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $907,075 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1768 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Halen | 83% | 84 |
| #2 | hambooga | 79% | 141 |
| #3 | nbgee12 | 77% | 30 |
| #4 | ayvel | 71% | 129 |
| #5 | mira | 71% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ayvel | 71% | 129 |
| #5 | mira | 71% | 31 |
| #6 | wealthy | 68% | 71 |
| #7 | Voilà | 66% | 29 |
| #8 | tiger | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambooga | 29 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | ayvel | 25 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Halen | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | wealthy | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | tiger | 4 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hambooga | 419 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | wealthy | 368 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #3 | ayvel | 259 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | Halen | 218 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | tiger | 137 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cutedog | +4.86 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | Halen | +3.31 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | hambooga | +3.04 | 90 | 56 |
| #4 | ayvel | +1.99 | 85 | 42 |
| #5 | Voilà | +1.69 | 87 | 50 |





