








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3836 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5844 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5298 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6075 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,457,476 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1482 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrew | 87% | 63 |
| #2 | bad boy | 87% | 94 |
| #3 | cutedog | 83% | 84 |
| #4 | hambooga | 82% | 110 |
| #5 | Matt | 81% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | hambooga | 82% | 110 |
| #5 | Matt | 81% | 59 |
| #6 | Grizz | 79% | 168 |
| #7 | 👁 | 70% | 44 |
| #8 | gang | 66% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grizz | 40 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | hambooga | 14 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Andrew | 11 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | gang | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | cutedog | 9 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grizz | 953 | 0.31 | 23 min |
| #2 | Andrew | 371 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #3 | gang | 316 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | hambooga | 306 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | cutedog | 260 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bad boy | +5.26 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | Halen | +4.99 | 85 | 55 |
| #3 | Grizz | +4.51 | 88 | 69 |
| #4 | hambooga | +4.13 | 91 | 59 |
| #5 | Andrew | +3.73 | 87 | 71 |





