










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 511 | 19% |
| Smokes | 677 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1186 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 332 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $170,334 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shr1ke | 57% | 72 |
| #4 | Grakron | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | PotatoFiend | 54% | 61 |
| #6 | Gon fet | 50% | 30 |
| #7 | St1mple | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grakron | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | St1mple | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Shr1ke | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Gon fet | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | FowFox | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1ke | 173 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | PotatoFiend | 105 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Grakron | 104 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | FowFox | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gon fet | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |





