








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1693 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1582 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2510 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1876 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,581 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevotedG | 54% | 61 |
| #2 | Shr1ke | 51% | 174 |
| #3 | FowFox | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Grakron | 49% | 174 |
| #5 | Orengelo | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FowFox | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | Grakron | 49% | 174 |
| #5 | Orengelo | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | Gon fet | 44% | 45 |
| #7 | St1mple | 42% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1ke | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Grakron | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | St1mple | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | DevotedG | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | FowFox | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1ke | 431 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Grakron | 213 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | FowFox | 134 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Orengelo | 78 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | St1mple | 71 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1ke | +2.41 | 59 | 74 |
| #2 | Grakron | +1.01 | 82 | 54 |
| #3 | PotatoFiend | +0.30 | 45 | 60 |
| #4 | FowFox | -0.62 | 45 | 67 |
| #5 | DevotedG | -3.19 | 26 | 53 |





