








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1776 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1932 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2003 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2651 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,620 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DevotedG | 56% | 75 |
| #2 | FowFox | 54% | 89 |
| #3 | Shr1ke | 54% | 182 |
| #4 | Gon fet | 52% | 112 |
| #5 | PotatoFiend | 49% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Shr1ke | 54% | 182 |
| #4 | Gon fet | 52% | 112 |
| #5 | PotatoFiend | 49% | 174 |
| #6 | Orengelo | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | St1mple | 44% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St1mple | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | PotatoFiend | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Gon fet | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Shr1ke | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | FowFox | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1ke | 451 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | PotatoFiend | 329 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | FowFox | 231 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gon fet | 172 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | St1mple | 83 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shr1ke | +2.81 | 59 | 73 |
| #2 | Grakron | +1.62 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | PotatoFiend | +0.45 | 46 | 61 |
| #4 | FowFox | -0.55 | 46 | 64 |
| #5 | Gon fet | -2.41 | 33 | 46 |





