








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 149 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,933 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1788 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2574 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3533 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3038 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $666,733 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | TBC Turquoise | 51% | 177 |
| #10 | TBC fandango | 50% | 143 |
| #11 | TBC Mint | 47% | 62 |
| #12 | toddler tickler | 46% | 52 |
| #13 | Koucci | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | 22 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | TBC Turquoise | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | PMW | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | toddler tickler | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | qoucci | 3 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | 841 | 0.29 | 25 min |
| #2 | TBC Turquoise | 290 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | AlluB0B | 176 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | PMW | 171 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | TBC Mint | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koucci | +2.90 | 81 | 53 |
| #2 | MUHMUD | +2.81 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | TBC fandango | +2.08 | 64 | 83 |
| #4 | finlasthope | +0.73 | 62 | 82 |
| #5 | Нет пределов | +0.60 | 64 | 76 |





