








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,606 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1243 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1379 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 905 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1079 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,601 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toddler tickler | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | finlasthope | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Jeti | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | AlluB0B | 53% | 32 |
| #5 | qoucci | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | TBC TiNoSaURuS | 47% | 62 |
| #7 | TBC fandango | 46% | 112 |
| #8 | PMW | 44% | 34 |
| #9 | TBC Turquoise | 38% | 68 |
| #10 | Koucci | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | 23 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | TBC TiNoSaURuS | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | TBC Turquoise | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | AlluB0B | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | finlasthope | 2 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | 670 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #2 | TBC Turquoise | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | AlluB0B | 92 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | TBC TiNoSaURuS | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jeti | 76 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | +2.54 | 67 | 80 |
| #2 | toddler tickler | +1.39 | 67 | 38 |
| #3 | PMW | +1.03 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | Koucci | +0.65 | 82 | 54 |
| #5 | TBC Turquoise | -0.52 | 68 | 73 |





