








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 756 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4217 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5738 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4387 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4405 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,737,432 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 668 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISMO | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | AlluB0B | 60% | 77 |
| #3 | qoucci | 56% | 85 |
| #4 | toddler tickler | 55% | 94 |
| #5 | PMW | 55% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | 41 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | TBC TiNoSaURuS | 13 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | PMW | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | toddler tickler | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Jeti | 4 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | 1319 | 0.28 | 38 min |
| #2 | PMW | 286 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | AlluB0B | 225 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | qoucci | 210 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | TBC TiNoSaURuS | 202 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | +2.37 | 66 | 81 |
| #2 | TBC Turquoise | +0.16 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | PMW | +0.03 | 59 | 58 |
| #4 | toddler tickler | +0.00 | 61 | 52 |
| #5 | qoucci | -0.18 | 64 | 60 |





