








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1280 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1246 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2395 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2290 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2264 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,927 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qoucci | 60% | 73 |
| #2 | TBC fandango | 60% | 45 |
| #3 | PMW | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | TBC Turquoise | 55% | 94 |
| #5 | jabba | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ISMO | 11 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | qoucci | 9 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | jabba | 9 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | 施虐者 Silivati. | 9 | 0.0221 |
| #5 | TBC fandango | 7 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | 265 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | qoucci | 212 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | TBC Turquoise | 196 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | ISMO | 165 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | jabba | 164 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBC fandango | +3.69 | 72 | 89 |
| #2 | 施虐者 Silivati. | +2.13 | 76 | 31 |
| #3 | toddler tickler | +1.79 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | qoucci | +1.19 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | PMW | +0.87 | 64 | 58 |





