








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 567 | 26% |
| Smokes | 132 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 691 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 774 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,334 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Granatmelone | 50% | 12 |
| #2 | EzG33sY | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Ace XD Boy | 47% | 43 |
| #4 | GobsmackedPenguin | 44% | 62 |
| #5 | sn0wybaby | 43% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 1GigaB3nz | 39% | 23 |
| #8 | Jean Rean | 39% | 44 |
| #9 | sarcasticeli | 36% | 11 |
| #10 | Fehleno | 33% | 43 |
| #11 | king_cobra8 | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | sn0wybaby | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Fehleno | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | GobsmackedPenguin | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | 117 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | sn0wybaby | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jean Rean | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fehleno | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | GobsmackedPenguin | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e-grrrl | +2.85 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | king_cobra8 | +1.12 | 64 | 14 |
| #3 | Jean Rean | +0.55 | 58 | 56 |
| #4 | Ace XD Boy | +0.21 | 34 | 40 |
| #5 | sn0wybaby | -0.14 | 80 | 51 |





