








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1521 | 41% |
| Smokes | 844 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 650 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 740 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,409 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ping | 43% | 92 |
| #2 | beige | 39% | 33 |
| #3 | ุ | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | maisie | 37% | 43 |
| #5 | serial killer snoopy | 34% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ุ | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | maisie | 37% | 43 |
| #5 | serial killer snoopy | 34% | 58 |
| #6 | PoisonDash | 25% | 12 |
| #7 | Just Jesse | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ping | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | serial killer snoopy | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | beige | 6 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | maisie | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serial killer snoopy | 361 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #2 | ping | 284 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | beige | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 37 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | maisie | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | +7.16 | 90 | 68 |
| #2 | ping | +4.40 | 84 | 65 |
| #3 | Just Jesse | +4.02 | 71 | 59 |
| #4 | Willy The Cocaine Shark | +0.24 | 61 | 58 |
| #5 | PoisonDash | -1.83 | 35 | 19 |





