








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2373 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1192 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 938 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1051 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,087 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 449 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | stizza | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | raeanz | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | ping | 35% | 110 |
| #5 | maisie | 35% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | beige | 30% | 20 |
| #9 | Just Jesse | 29% | 14 |
| #10 | MARKYY | 25% | 16 |
| #11 | PoisonDash | 25% | 20 |
| #12 | V1nson | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ping | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ุ | 4 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | maisie | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | stizza | 3 | 0.0174 |
| #5 | beige | 2 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ping | 327 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Willy The Cocaine Shark | 184 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tony | 69 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | ุ | 44 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Just Jesse | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | +7.28 | 91 | 60 |
| #2 | Just Jesse | +5.14 | 74 | 54 |
| #3 | ping | +3.66 | 83 | 63 |
| #4 | Tony | +2.39 | 53 | 65 |
| #5 | Willy The Cocaine Shark | +1.29 | 61 | 59 |





