








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 989 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8567 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6462 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5054 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 8866 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,787,813 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1318 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beige | 50% | 103 |
| #2 | Willy | 43% | 92 |
| #3 | maisie | 43% | 115 |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | serial killer snoopy | 35% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beige | 50% | 103 |
| #2 | Willy | 43% | 92 |
| #3 | maisie | 43% | 115 |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 43% | 54 |
| #5 | serial killer snoopy | 35% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beige | 14 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | serial killer snoopy | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Willy | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | maisie | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serial killer snoopy | 579 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | Willy | 284 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | beige | 129 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 66 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | maisie | 35 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ping | +2.83 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | Just Jesse | +2.45 | 71 | 43 |
| #3 | Willy | +0.12 | 58 | 57 |
| #4 | beige | -2.77 | 44 | 32 |
| #5 | serial killer snoopy | -5.06 | 31 | 52 |





