








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
105 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11 | 9% |
| Smokes | 22 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 43 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 42 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $21,608 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Just Jesse | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | ping | 33% | 15 |
| #3 | Willy The Cocaine Shark | 25% | 12 |
| #4 | serial killer snoopy | 25% | 20 |
| #5 | maisie | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ping | 33% | 15 |
| #3 | Willy The Cocaine Shark | 25% | 12 |
| #4 | serial killer snoopy | 25% | 20 |
| #5 | maisie | 25% | 20 |
| #6 | ุ | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maisie | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | serial killer snoopy | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | ping | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serial killer snoopy | 93 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | Willy The Cocaine Shark | 44 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | ping | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | maisie | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | ุ | 8 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ping | +8.44 | 88 | 71 |
| #2 | Just Jesse | +7.73 | 67 | 38 |
| #3 | ุ | +4.41 | 92 | 70 |
| #4 | Willy The Cocaine Shark | +3.54 | 51 | 54 |
| #5 | PoisonDash | -2.54 | 31 | 19 |





