








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 323 matches | ||
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,406 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7186 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5018 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5626 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3576 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,349,630 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | 68% | 134 |
| #2 | Nate | 61% | 235 |
| #3 | Frost_Champ | 61% | 286 |
| #4 | idk | 60% | 68 |
| #5 | [SGT. Jack Ingoph] | 58% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | randy | 29 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Frost_Champ | 19 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | MuscularMussel44 | 14 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Nate | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | idk | 7 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frost_Champ | 984 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | MuscularMussel44 | 713 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #3 | randy | 675 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | Nate | 666 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #5 | [SGT. Jack Ingoph] | 280 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | +3.61 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Frost_Champ | +1.44 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | swen | +1.37 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Blastoise | +1.25 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | [SGT. Jack Ingoph] | +1.11 | 83 | 65 |





