










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4040 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4122 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3928 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4545 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $966,287 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | 71% | 87 |
| #2 | [SGT. Jack Ingoph] | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | bray | 61% | 286 |
| #4 | randy | 60% | 156 |
| #5 | Nate | 59% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bray | 1450 | 0.23 | 44 min |
| #2 | Nate | 553 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | randy | 514 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | MuscularMussel44 | 396 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #5 | welcometotheER | 234 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | +3.14 | 85 | 71 |
| #2 | Frost_Champ | +2.92 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | [SGT. Jack Ingoph] | +1.73 | 84 | 63 |
| #4 | Blastoise | +1.43 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | bray | +0.54 | 68 | 75 |





