








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,317 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1981 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1611 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1544 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2181 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $748,783 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | 68% | 115 |
| #2 | Frost_Champ | 60% | 156 |
| #3 | Nate | 60% | 118 |
| #4 | samuel | 57% | 30 |
| #5 | bray | 56% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bray | 20 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | MuscularMussel44 | 18 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Frost_Champ | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | samuel | 11 | 0.0172 |
| #5 | idk | 9 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bray | 1086 | 0.23 | 34 min |
| #2 | MuscularMussel44 | 642 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #3 | Frost_Champ | 517 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | Nate | 361 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #5 | idk | 143 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | +3.39 | 86 | 73 |
| #2 | Frost_Champ | +1.63 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | swen | +1.53 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Blastoise | +0.89 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | bray | +0.71 | 69 | 75 |





