








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,038 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1207 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1980 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1645 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $922,326 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fufna | 52% | 142 |
| #2 | wnd | 51% | 158 |
| #3 | Nibbler | 49% | 143 |
| #4 | hauntry | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | umpA | 46% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Nibbler | 49% | 143 |
| #4 | hauntry | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | umpA | 46% | 210 |
| #6 | fox | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wnd | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | umpA | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Nibbler | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Fufna | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | umpA | 457 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #2 | hauntry | 222 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #3 | wnd | 212 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Fufna | 138 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nibbler | 135 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauntry | +3.94 | 71 | 82 |
| #2 | Fufna | +3.73 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | umpA | +2.57 | 66 | 74 |
| #4 | wnd | +0.51 | 83 | 64 |
| #5 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | -0.75 | 52 | 61 |





