








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1063 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 441 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 90 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11460 | 31% |
| Smokes | 9447 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8548 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7055 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,008,176 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 747 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burly | 66% | 35 |
| #2 | fox | 59% | 132 |
| #3 | d3LiveRator | 59% | 205 |
| #4 | Sanchez | 59% | 104 |
| #5 | efron | 58% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 55% | 100 |
| #10 | Nibbler | 54% | 46 |
| #11 | umpA | 52% | 122 |
| #12 | wnd | 51% | 71 |
| #13 | Winchesters | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fox | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | techmeyer | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | d3LiveRator | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | m1LDex | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | 2 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sanchez | 851 | 0.38 | 28 min |
| #2 | techmeyer | 773 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | 536 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | d3LiveRator | 329 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | m1LDex | 321 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sanchez | +4.07 | 83 | 88 |
| #2 | d3LiveRator | +2.66 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | hauntry | +2.54 | 72 | 81 |
| #4 | umpA | +1.78 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | +0.66 | 66 | 66 |





